Saturday, November 10, 2012

As a young girl I dreamed about being a store owner. I wanted to own and run a store, maybe a gift shop or a book store, it didn’t matter which.

As a young mother my dream became reality as I opened a “virtual store” and made baby products out of my home that were then shipped around the world. Baby Bintz has brought me much satisfaction as a young stressed-out mother. It occupied my mind, day dreaming of what my next great product would be as I changed diapers and fed babies. It gave me an escape from the realities of a stay-at-home mother. It has been a fulfilling part of my life over the last 9 years.

A few years ago while serving as a Primary President in my church and having 2 babies within 13 months, I realized that my life was a little too full. I wondered if I should ask to be released from this calling. I had served well for 2 years, had a baby at the time, was suffering from morning sickness 24 hours a day and was ready to deliver another baby. How would I care for 2 babies, neither of which were old enough to attend nursery while I was doing my Sunday job? My husband was also teaching during church. As I thought about this idea, the thought came clearly to my mind that if I can run a business while being a mother, I can hold a calling also. If I wanted to be released I should also be willing to give up my business, which was more for my personal fulfillment than a means for my family. I wasn’t ready to give up my business so I decided to stick out the calling also.

5 years later as I sit here at my computer I am filled with emotions. Next week I will set up my booth at the Holy Cow Boutique for the last time, something I’ve done 36 times over the last nine years. I have again felt prompted to give up my business, and this time I listened. I will be turning over the majority of my product to a girl who will start a similar business of her own the week after my show. The rest will be phased out by the beginning of the year. I wondered what I would fill my time with once my business was gone but the Lord has already shown me the way. Over the last few months I have felt a deep desire to embrace my callings as mother and homemaker.

I am so grateful for the Lord’s abundant blessings for our minimal sacrifices. He asks His disciples to abandon the world and follow Him. When we show our willingness, He changes our hearts and desires. My anxiety for giving up my creative outlet has been changed into excitement for my role as mother, wife, and disciple. I want my children to grow to have a relationship with their Savior. These desires are much stronger than my need to be creative ever were. I thank the Lord for His willingness to shape and mold me and point me in the right direction.
(the "babies")

1 comment:

Emily said...

Beautifully written. Good luck. You're such a good person to listen and follow the promptings you receive!